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Hans Daily Dish

Because Mr. Schmidt is a persistent fellow, and because we
need a republican on our staff, we have (alas!), granted him
column space. We understand it is to be called paramount.
Here is his first installment.

Chris Dykstra
Dan Cress

PARAMOUNT Augsburg Echo Circa February 15, 1985
by David H. Schmidt

Well, I finally got it, my very own column. Now, I am going to eschew the fact that
that this is with the Augsburg Echo and not with the Washington Post. For as we
remember, Hemingway started writing for a little high school in Oak Park Illinois.

So, what's this column going to be about? Quite truthfully, I really don't know. But,
sincerely believe that after three years in the United States Army's 82nd Airborne
Division, and subsequently four years in college (with majors in Philosophy and
English), I have some thing to say. That may indeed sound rather redundant to some
of you, however, I've got four months to serve in this prestigious institution and you
are going to get what's left of me. I'll be attaching the profs, the press, the politics
and most of all the yous.

Here I am Auggie Tech: dark, handsome, witty, and in the words of T.S. Eliot, "Deferential,
glad to be of use, politic, cautious, and meticulous, full of high sentence but a bit obtuse; at
times, indeed, almost ridiculous--almost at times, the fool."

I am doing this because I love you Augsburg. I guess it's kinda like what Dad use to tell
me before he'd spank me, "Son, this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you."
Although I still can't figure out why I was the only one screaming.

In short, you are an extension of me, my children. My concern for all of you runs as deep
as the Jordan river, only warm, not cold. So, you better not cry, you better not pout, David
Hans Schmidt is coming to town, and he's paramount.

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