A news media & entertainment company    
Previous Articles
PARAMOUNT - Click Here

Hans Daily Dish

My Visit To Camp M.J. Santa Maria, California


Well folks, thanks for the wonderful reception with my new media & entertainment company...kudos to my new partner, him and his wife made this all possible, so you can blame them as well depending on your opinion but they remain confidential, I don't and never will.

Folks, as you know, I kicked off www.HANSNEWS.com up at up in Santa Maria, California last week right in the middle of Camp M.J. at the Superior Court House. What an incredible experience with the world-wide press corps in daily attendance. The Santa Maria Chamber of Commerce couldn't better with the entire advertising corps off Madison Avenue. The hotels are sold out got stuck in a pretty nice Comfort Inn, when I asked the gal at the front desk how were things going with the big Trial in town she smiled and said, 'No comment." Man, everyone is holding out for cash.

I drove up from LA, (can't get a plane in either) and got to see the wine county and every little spot they shot SIDEWAYS at (se the movie if you haven't) and with record winter rains it was a sight to see all the flowers and green hills which resembled more of Scotland than the Pacific Coast.

After checking into my 1 star hotel, I jetted in my Hertz Jag (thanks for finding my I-POD fellas) over to the big show on Marshall Avenue in lovely Republican down town Santa Maria to blitz the Green Monster (the tent where the press hangs out at) with our press releases. The court house looks like a Spanish Villa made for a King. Inside, the reigning local king of the DA's office, Mr. Snedden, whose son is a registered Skin Head (remember the Nazis?) goes at the King of Pop each minute of the business day with no breaks for lunch...on ingress and egress, Mr. Jackson's loyal fans scream for justice and there is always at couple of opposition protestors as well. Outside, all day long, the Brits mingle with the Americans and generally fight for leads all at the mercy and duty-placement of a wonderful man named Peter Shaplen, whose thankless job of Media Pool Director it is to heard all of these cats with credentials of several levels. His vocation brought back memories of being Governor Mecham's press secretary nearly 20 years ago.

After the last perp-walk in the afternoon court release, the camp breaks quickly where all the mighty press corps goes out to the Holiday Inn to enjoy free food and discounted drinks at happy hour and toast to their release from the quagmire while quaffing their brewskies. This scene is repeated day in and day out as the King of Pop's fate hongs in the vineyards just above this coastal town tucked into a slice of Heaven and cheese with the best local wines in the world. In make the Pop-Pilgrimage to see the traveling show soon do have a Mexican Mocha from doe-eyed Melanie at the Coffee Diem across the street from the backside of the court house as well, if you are real nice she'll throw in a smile and maybe even a hug; there; the press ponders their daily duties amid hangovers and bylines run and scrubbed. If you are lucky you'll see Aphrodite Jones in the mix, man, she's hot, and several other TV news babes ambling around the confines (including a short-haired-mystery blonde with nice tight biz-babe-pants on) looking for the ultimate angle in a daily Three Ring Circus masquerading as a court room trial of the people.

American Justice, it's findings should appear in the Nielsen Ratings along side the annuals of lofty decisions.

-DAVID HANS SCHMIDT
April 6, 2005

P.S. Talking about M.J. Angles, we've one coming next week that will blow you all away!


click here to go back